Identity Theft by Pregnancy

After we have a child whether it be c-section or natural we all view our bodies differently and know we will never see them the same again. Now I can only speak as a mother that had a c-section birth but I can imagine mothers who experienced a natural birth may feel in some way similar to this. 

I looked at the stretch marks and watched as they replicated the claw marks of a tiger. Many people told me these purple, blueish marks would appear but nothing prepared me for the extent. They made me feel unattractive and unworthy of anyones touch. Like my body had been used for its purpose and from now on it’ll be just seen as a vessel for the unborn to grown and not one that could gain arousal from anyone any longer. 

My breasts that were once perky were now dropping and filled with milk ready for feeding, their natural purpose for being there which we don’t really consider until our body is inhabited by our unborn. What used to be sexualised is now covered at every attempt to hide the marks that go across them, the enlargement of once tiny areoles. To others they still replicate a symbol of sex and to us they replicate… well they don’t.. they’re just a reminder of how young our bodies used to be. Because as much as we may get them lifted, filled or touched up, to us they will never be what they once was. To us they will just be what they are now and one look at them will make us cringe, but we don’t realise that’s only how we see our new skin. 

Because as our breast sagged and our stomach gained a pouch, we prod and poke  our new found love handles. But to us they don’t represent love making, to us they represent the take-aways we regret indulging in as we gained unhealthy weight, that’s much harder to shift after birth. Our hips that are now widen through child birth, that we are reminded of everyday as we struggle and jump into our jeans saying to ourselves “we’ll get back in these”. 

Brittle hair and weak nails come into play as the calcium that was in our bodies was used to make the babies grow and keep them healthy. No amount of cuts and blow dries on them make us feel better in the few weeks of post-partum. No beauty treatments make us feel whole as we look in the mirror with tired eyes and black bags hanging from them. No amount of make-up can hide from us the new found acne that makes it’s way across our face and we connect the dots inside our head, counting how many new features our face holds. Blackheads, whiteheads, freckles, lines, reminders of the lack of self-care and sleepless nights. 

You see we want to look at ourselves In the way we did, but we never will. Instead we need to learn to love our new selves, easier said than done but it must be done. Because if we don’t the insecurities will take over and fill our minds, which we cannot let happen. So here’s my advice to all you new mama’s struggling with the same thing I did after having kids… 

Your body is still wonderful, even though you may not believe me. Them stretch marks you hate are the same stretch marks that made your body accommodate your baby. The same ones that run up your thighs and through your stomach helped you gain the weight and nutrients to keep your baby healthy. 

The weight you gained is okay, because it meant that your baby was a healthy weight. So even though your thighs are thicker and your breasts now sag, they all helped make the best thing you will ever have. Your body is beautiful and you should show it off, despite the opinions you may come across. People may have different views of your body than they did before but if they didn’t that would mean you didn’t have your little one. It’s okay to be upset about it or even a little bit mad. But trust me in the end you’ll be glad that your body was able to do this and produce this miracle. I hope at least one person reads this and realises just how much of a special, simply amazing job their body done. 

Keep smashing it mums and dads, you’re doing great 😊